It’s funny to me

Last sunday, on the way home from church, Jacob lost his 1st tooth. He was a little tramautized by it all at first, but after realizing this meant cold hard cash, he was happy. Several days later, he lost another tooth. He now regularly wiggles all his teeth, hoping to earn more tooth fairy money. He even  put a tooth under his pillow he’d already gotten money for, just to see if it would happen again. What a little entrepeneur.

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Also, note the festive 4th of July arrangement on the stairs.

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just ignore my dorky laugh in the background

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Jacob: Mom I don’t want to say this but….dad’s gonna be the first in the family to die.

Me: How do you know this?

Jacob: Because he’s the oldest

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Jacob’s front right tooth has been turning a deep shade of pink over the past couple of months. The dentist says not to worry because it’s wiggly anyway. Jacob was recently asked by an adult, “what’s wrong with your tooth” and his professional response was, “When I was 3, I fell down some stairs and now I have nerve damage”

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Jacob’s constant questions about God keep me on my toes, and make me feel like a total idiot for not knowing how to answer most of them.

on God:
What if I say, “oh my god!” will God still love me?

Does he love an army man?

Does he love an ant?

Does he eat ants?

What does God eat?

What if you shoot someone in the face, will he still love you?

What’s sin?

What’s forgiven?

On heaven:

Can I see in heaven?

Can I hear?

Can I talk?

Like this, like I’m talking right now?

Do I have bones?

Do I just have a head?

Can I meet my neighbors in heaven?

Do I have a house?

Can I live with my mom and dad?

What if we’re in different graves?

Are there chocolate chip cookies?

Do we eat in heaven?

What do we eat?

Can I talk to Ms. Molly in heaven? (old lady next door who passed away)

Also, he seems to think of God as kind of a magic 8 ball, closing his eyes and asking things like, “God, will we find a parking spot at the museum?” moments later, “yes! he said yes)

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Towards the end of my teacher workdays, my mom was over here watching Jacob. Together they made a batch of strawberry bread, leaving the batter in the fridge for when we wanted to bake it. When I got home he excitedly showed it to me and said, “you know mom, if you are too tired stove it we can just eat it out of the bowl”

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Jacob in the car this evening asks, “mom, is it against the law to marry two girls?”

Me: Yes

Jacob: man, I can’t decide!

Me: You’re 5 Jacob, you don’t need to decide.

Me: By the way, who are you deciding between?

Jacob: Toria, Emma, Ella….and Greer

This kid is girl crazy, and I thought he was supposed to think girls have cooties at this age. What am I going to do when he’s 14, 15, 16, 17?

Can somebody say all boys boarding school

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 1. Globe

2. Baseball Necklace

3. Medal

4. Walkie Talkie

5. Basketballs

6. Basketball Goal

7. Squirt Gun

8. Savings Bond (he knows he’ll get this from grandma)

9. 100 Dollars

10. Penny

11. Nickel

12. Racecar

13. Star Wars movie

14. Giant Spaceship

15. Change Tires car

16. Transformer

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Jacob is all about the safety. He’s not a daredevil or too much of a risk taker. This makes me happy, because I am pretty much the same way. We like being in control and our fun factor doesn’t have to include the possibility of pain and being scared. Every summer, it takes Jacob a long time to warm up to the idea of getting back in the pool. Sure he will get in the shallow end and hang out by the steps, but it’s got to be on his own timing and comfort level. Yesterday we headed to the city pool and on the way he was dialoguing his game plan for the day. He brought a few toys he decided he would test out in the baby pool first, and when he decides to get into the big pool he asks “is it ok if I have a life jacket and a kick board?”

 Sure son, whatever makes you comfortable.

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